you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
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