dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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