I want to make a zoo with you.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
