failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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