thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
