he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Randomize
