He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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