Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize
