in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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