Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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