Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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