she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Randomize
