Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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