This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
