Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Randomize
