found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
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