we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
