I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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