ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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