you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
