Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
