9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
