My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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