I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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