Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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