Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
My boob is missing a layer of skin
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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