Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
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