are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
We were destined to go to rehab together
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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