Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
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