marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
