I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Holy shit dude........stairs
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