Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
