My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
