maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
