not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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