hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
