There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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