you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
