i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
