no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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