I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
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