whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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