Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
