that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
