Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
