I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
