He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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