Dual....:-)
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
