i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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