So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
