i wish there were pregnant emoticons
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
